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Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Can we hook you into our stories....

We want to hook in our readers to our stories.  This is how we started our writing. We entered a competition at the library.



“Ping bang.” I jumped in.  “Aah that’s as comfortable as a cushion.”  “Erer, it is hard to get out of here.”  I could hear the jangling noise of kids jumping up and down.  Joining them was a good idea.  That night I felt myself bouncing up and down. 
By Ryan

What was that humungous thing?  It looks like a monster.  Where am I? It feels like I am in a different place.  I tiptoed downstairs.  I opened the door.  I had a little peek.  I tiptoed outside.
By Jack

What was that thing?  Was it a monster?  It was coming from the door. BANG. That noise again.  “Come outside” said a voice.  I crept to the door and opened it.  WOOSH! Leaves blew in my face.  Come on door close. 
By Josh M

What was that thing?  It was furry. It had a long nose.  I thought it would eat me up.  “Quack aaaaahhhhh!” I sprinted as fast as I could go.  I got a duck.  I wondered if it would eat bread.  It ate it up. It twaddled towards me.  
By Jack

“What, no why would I do that?”  “I do not need to go to bed.”  “Cos you don’t need to go to bed, I was just tricking.”  Yeah I only just got up and I’ve got a massive day ahead of me!
Josh W

Woof, Woof.  What’s that sound?  I heard it again.  Where is it coming from?  I searched and searched but I couldn’t find it.  So I went home.  But I kept hearing it.  “Where is it coming from?”  I shouted.
By Myia

“Who was at the door?”  Said Dwayne.  It was cold. Dwayne  grabbed a flashlight and went into the forest.  He heard screaming.  Dwayne found eight pages.  He saw a shed.  There were lots of tools. 
By Montana

Boom, boom, boom. “What’s that sound?”  “Come to me,” whispered a voice. “WWWWhat are you, who are you?”  He walked downstairs shivering like he was in the North Pole.  He saw green faces staring at him. 
By Jayme

“Ahhh.”  “What was that?”  Frightenly he walked downstairs tip toe, tip toe.  The voice said “Boom, Boom Bor.” Jason thought for a second “What?” he kept walking.
By Jayme

In the dark night walking through the leaves I heard the roof go ding, ding, and ding.  I thought it was the bells but then I heard bang, bang bang.  It came from the door. Whish, whish, whish the leaves went.  Bang, bang, bang the windows slammed shut.
By Bailey

Am I going to be brave or not?  I thought to myself we are nearly there.  I was still thinking about something.  Will I be brave or not?
By Julia

Snap, snap, the scissors going snap in the bushes. What is that on the bush?  We got out the magic magnifying glass.  Boom. I got it. Is it a bug?  Yes, but what kind of bug.  It is a beautiful black mother beetle.
By Connor

The shiny sun shone on the glittering snow.  It was freezing cold on the snowy top.  From the snowy top it was high.  But from the grassy bottom it was just cold. When I walked far away from it, it was just warm.
By Julia

Flapping wings soared in the sky.  Thumping feet shuffled in the air.  Squeaking rats raced along the floor.  Sparkling stone glittered in the dark.  The cave was swampy and slippery. Nasty spiders tickled my feet. Pesky bugs nipped my foot and evil bugs pinched.
By Ollie

Dirt, rock and stands of trembling people.  Cars line up on the shattered starting line with nervous messy drivers. 3,2,1, go.
By Josh W

Waves of blue shattered everywhere.  Mountains of sand were piled high.  Munted rocks stood tall. Surfers on the humongous waves.  Crabs waited to bite. Fish danced and dived in the waves. Piers were standing tall.  Sun bathing people were on the sand.
By Lewis
 
Tiny bits of rock surrounded the place.  Splashing noises echoed in the distance. The foot prints were ginormous.
Ryan

Sand as far as I could see.  Sparkling waves rocking back and forth like a baby’s crib.  Crabs pinching me everywhere I go.  How could this get any better?  I see tall straight trees waving in the wind.  All of a sudden smoke fills the air.  I cough and run. 
By Jayme

It’s a lion, no it is a human.  Its 80 foot tall.  Sand is everywhere I look. Wow! I see camels in the distance. I think to myself who built this.  Humans or was it meerkats.  I don’t know.  The great sphinx is sitting proud.
By Jayme

Splish! Splash! Splosh! ZOOM! Ahr! Curse you fish.  Where’s the door? There it is now the button. The code is 781943. Correct.  Thanks, door down. VVV, ding Room 1.
By Josh M

Bong, bong there goes my ball.  Splash it’s lost.  There are leaves and twigs falling.  What is that, it’s big?  AHHH it’s a tiger roar. I am scared, it’s a hunter.  I have got to run.
By Izak

Swirling winds are swirling across the sky. My legs are shaking like an earthquake. Squeaking noises sounded like my Mum screaming at me.  The swirling wind is bigger than a giraffe.
By Julia

Falling rocks, broken caves, dead animals in my sight.  Sleeping bats on the roof.  Thumping rocks fall to the ground.  Roaring waves capture me.  I sink and swim to the surface. Fighting animals run from bats. Scared rats run over my feet.  Nasty spiders bite my feet.
By Ollie
 
The beautiful weather was spinning in the air like a tornado.  Waterfalls in the sky, it drags in golden sand near trees shaped like mushrooms. At the beach scaly fish in the water.
By Bailey

Ouch that hurt me, who did that.  It was just the nasty rose bush.  I think we should chop it down. I agree.  Yes, now it is going down, there is dad.  When he saw it he had a shock.  “What did you do that for, that bush was very popular?”
By Connor

We’re getting lower and lower. Crashing, I thought. But no we didn’t.  We hit the ground, the air breaks shoot up.  The tar went crazy.
By Ryan




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